Parking Lot People

Have you ever wondered why people are rude, mean, selfish and dangerous in parking lots?  Well, I have given it much thought.  Drivers with poor manners are a pet peeve of mine.

Let’s take a look at some of the most popular types of parking lot offenders.  The first one I call the OBLIVIOUS IDIOT.  This type of driver is the one who, with one look you can see the blank stare on their face.  They generally have a phone in their hand and often times they are playing with a dog.  I’d like to rip the phone out their hand and let the dog they are petting while trying to navigate a crowded parking lot chew it all to hell.  One of the OBLIVIOUS IDIOT’S saving grace is that they generally start to pay attention when they come too close to causing injury or scratching their car with a shopping cart, light pole or some poor pedestrian trying to dodge cars like the Frogger video game.  Are you one of these people?  If you are not an OBLIVIOUS  IDIOT I assure you that you know one.

The second type of driver is the NO EYE CONTACT driver.  This type of driver has taken an oath to never make eye contact with another driver.  The NO EYE CONTACT driver is the guy who cuts you off and refuses to acknowledge their jackassery.  The NO EYE CONTACT DRIVER is a close cousin of the NO COURTESY WAVE driver.  We all know about the NO COURTESY WAVE driver.  You let someone go before you out of kindness and as you make eye contact with the NO COURTESY WAVE driver they will continue to stare straight ahead.  This is frustrating because you know the idiot sees you but out of plain discourteousness, you will receive no thanks from either of these two classes of drivers.

Finally, there is the I MIGHT KILL A PEDESTRIAN driver.  In most states, pedestrians have the right of way in marked crosswalks and controlled intersections.  Do we need a law to make drivers exercise caution around and yield to pedestrians?   When I am in a parking lot and the I MIGHT KILL A PEDESTRIAN DRIVER is doing a “slow roll” as they approach the crosswalk I make direct eye contact with them and basically make them stop.  Once they stop I look directly in their eyes and give them the “Damn right” look.

Some people have very nice and expensive cars.  When I see these folks take up two parking spaces I laugh but it generally doesn’t make me angry.   Last week a saw a guy do the two parking lot move.  Did he drive a Ferrari?  Maybe he drove a Vette.  Or possibly a huge brand new SUV?  Nope, he had a very old black Honda with many dents, scratches as well as a door that wouldn’t close all the way!  Yep, it’s true!  You just gotta laugh!

Use common sense while driving in parking lots.  Make eye contact and defer to other drivers if you can.  Yield to pedestrians and for God’s sake please toss out a courtesy wave.  Is that too much to ask?

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